Etiquette is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society,social class,or group.This French word,signifying ticket (of admission,etc.) first appeared in English in 1750.
Rules of etiquette encompass most aspects of social interaction in any society,though the term itself is not commonly used.A rule of etiquette may reflect an underlying ethical code,or it may reflect a person’s fashion or status.Rules of etiquette are usually unwritten,but aspects of etiquette have been codified from time to time.
Misconceptions about etiquette and the need for it abound,which makes it necessary to clarify four things that etiquette is most certainly not:
A Set of Rigid Rules: Manners are not fixed all the time and today are more flexible than ever before.Etiquette isn’t a set of “prescriptions for properness” but only a set of guidelines for doing things in ways that make people feel comfortable.
Something for the Wealthy or Well-Born: Etiquette is a norm of behavior for people from all fields,every socioeconomic group,and of all ages.Everyone needs to enhance his life by good manners.
A Thing of the Past: Sometimes it seems that yesterday’s standards have been out of date,but today’s more casual approach to things is something that sits on the surface.The basic principles of etiquette remain as solid as they ever were.
Snobbishness: Little violates the principles of etiquette more than snobbery—which,more often than not,is just another name for pretentiousness.A person who distains others shows himself not as superior but small—the kind who’s anything but respectful and considerate.
People who know the rules of etiquette have little trouble translating what they see and hear into courteous behavior.Courteous people are empathetic—they are able to relate emotionally to the feelings of others.They listen carefully to what people say.They are conscious about what is going on around them and register clearly what they see.A self-centered person may say,“I know exactly how you feel” to someone in a traumatic situation and then immediately turn to describe his own experiences.An empathetic person is more likely to say something like,“I can’t know how you feel right now,but I can understand your grief (or anger or sadness).And if you want to share with me,I would like to listen.”