These days,people often meet one another online through profile pictures and personal descriptions—rather than face-to-face,which makes it more difficult to share smiles and get a feel for one another’s energy.Gender roles have become more equal and less distinct,which might seem to make the proper dating etiquette of this generation’s parents or grandparents seem outdated.While no matter how the relationship landscape has changed recently,good dating manners is still of great importance when it comes to the process of getting to know someone romantically.
■Direct Language
Most people haven’t said anything as straightforward as “I like you—will you go out have a date with me?” since their middle school years.Today,there are lots of ambiguous requests for dates,such as “Want to hang out sometime?” or “Maybe we could do something together one of these days...” As men and women find themselves on equal social position—performing gender roles to a lesser degree.The bottom line is that their intentions should be clarified.Asking someone if she would like to have dinner on Friday night will give that person the option to accept or decline your invitation,with a clear understanding of what you’re asking.
■Scheduling
It’s a good dating manner to ask someone out with plenty of time to plan.A clear time table means different things to different people,as some people have full arrangement a month in advance,but the general rule of thumb is to ask for a date at least a week ahead of schedule.In addition,when planning the outing,it’s better to avoid surprises and let the date know the destination.That way,she can dress properly for a fine restaurant,the opera or an amusement park and fast-food joint.
■Declining an Invitation
There’s proper etiquette in asking someone out,so of course there’s proper etiquette in turning down an invitation.And when this happens,honesty is the best policy.Don’t make up an imaginary boy-friend or girl-friend in the hopes that you won’t hurt someone’s feelings; it might give them hope that you’ll be available sometime in the future.If you’re truly uninterested in your date,politely decline with something as simple as,“Thank you,but I’m not interested in starting a relationship.” If,however,you are interested but unavailable on the requested day,offer up another specific day.A date can be finalized between two interested people and their calendars.