A stringy sentence is a sentence in which too many ideas are crowded together.As a consequence, a reader may soon find that such a sentence is hard to read and even harder to understand.For example:
In school yesterday the lights went out, and we were in the dark for about an hour, because the electricity was off, so we couldn't use the computers, but our teacher still wouldn't let us go home early, and later on, we heard that a car had hit a streetlight, and that the driver had been killed.
With just a few changes, the above could be made much more acceptable.Observe the same“sentence”with minor revisions:
In school yesterday we were in the dark for about an hour after the lights went out.Without the electricity, we couldn't use the computers, but our teacher still wouldn't let us go home early.We heard later that a car had hit a streetlight and that the driver had been killed.
There are various ways to correct a stringy sentence.The following stringy sentence is used as an example.
Many students attend classes all morning and they work all afternoon, and then they have to study at night, so they are usually exhausted by the weekend.
Method one: Separate into sense groups (意群).
Many students attend classes all morning and they work all afternoon.Then they have to study at night.As a result, they are usually exhausted by the weekend.
Method two: Subordinate.
Many students, after they attend classes all morning, also work all afternoon.Because they have to study at night, they are usually exhausted by the weekend.
Method three: Subordinate and combine.
Many students who attend classes all morning, work all afternoon, and also have to study at night are usually exhausted by the weekend.
Method four: Use participial phrases.
After attending classes all morning, working all afternoon, and studying at night, many students are usually exhausted by the weekend.
Practice 2-4-1