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第22章 孩子的祈祷 A Childs Cry

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佚名/Anonymous

Most children can't understand the meaning of Death. Their thoughts are not developed enough to process and accept its changes and finality. Existence continues but they long for the life they once knew by hoping that soon their parent will come back to them. Repeatedly their dreams are shattered, when again and again that parent isn't there to kiss them goodnight.

As their mind works to understand the reason for them leaving, changes continue to take places causing even more confusion. Suddenly they are exposed to new faces, new places and even the same is now somehow different. Soon they start to wonder how this parent, who seemed to love them so much, could leave them. The child notices the changes in the people around them as they themselves try to deal with the hurt and loss they are feeling.

By being good, they try their best to make things right again so their parent will come back home, but again they fail. The feeling of guilt mixed with the feeling of failure causes the child to feel ashamed of what they have done and they withdraw deep within themselves. They long to hide from the world in an effort to not feel, or again cause the pain that is felt so strongly by everyone around them. They become timid and shy in hopes of fading into the background so no one will find out how evil they really are.

Nights are spent lying in the dampness of silent tears that continue to fall, always haunting their thoughts of loving or being loved. Soon they began to feel unworthy of receiving love, but mostly they feel that they are unable to give love. They vow that they will never be hurt again and spend their life trying to avoid the love that was once felt so much. They guard their hearts, longing for a life of loneliness to save them from hurting. Unknowingly they punish themselves by blocking out the signs that love does exist in their lives. If by chances love is ever felt, caution kicks in and causes them to subconsciously drive a wedge between them and the receptor of their love.