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第33章 不要害怕失败Don’t Fear Failure(2)

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Many career experts tout failure as the castor oil of success.The idea isn’t to fling yourself into certain disaster in order to be mystically rewarded with triumph.Rather,it’s a simple recognition that people who willingly risk failure and learn from loss have the best chance of succeeding at whatever they try.Oh,you"ve had minor reverses in school or love,but you haven’t failed meaningfully.Never fear,says AmitaiEtzioni,professor of socioeconomics at George Washington University,“Everyone gets a chance.No one lives a failureproof life forever.”Failure is easy to recognize.“It usually involves loss of money,self-esteem or status,”says Carole Hyatt,co-author of When Smart People Fail.At the very least,it is simply not getting what you want.Not that rational people should wish for calamity,says Rabbi Harold Kushner,author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People,But a stiff dose of misfortune is often a painfully effective tutor.It“teaches you something about your strength and acquaints you with your limitations”.notes Kushner,“That’s an important part of maturity.”People who profit from loss are the kind of foot soldiers business leaders seek,“Continuous success builds arrogance and complacency,”says multibillionaire industrialist H.Ross Perot,“I want people who love the battlefield,people willing to go to the war.”That includes making honest mistakes.Unsuccessful people,he adds,instinctively avoid risks even when a smart gamble might pay off.“You learn a great deal more from what doesn’t work than from what does.”Failure,he says,

is merely the cost of seeking new challenge.If the thought of fouling up paralyzes you,here are several helpful suggestions:

1.Stop using the“F”word.High achievers,rarely refer to“failure,”a loaded word suggesting a personal dead end.They prefer“glitch”“bollix”or“course correction.”

2.Don’t take it personally.When things go sour,do you instinctively label yourself a loser?The language you use to describe yourself can become a powerful reality.Repeatedly calling yourself an unemployed salesperson not only labels you as out of work—synonymous with failure in our society—it considers yourself someone“with options”.Those opinions include taking classes to develop new skills or bravely striking out on another career.