As I was talking with Bill， a gentleman walked into the room. Bill began to cry and so did the gentleman. The gentleman leaned over the bed to embrace Bill. After a few moments the gentleman， Ken， said to me， “He’s my brother. We haven’t spoken in over 25 years.”
Caught by surprise by his comment， I said， “You’re kidding me？”
“No.” replied Ken. “We had an argument over a piece of property and have been estranged from each other.”
Bill said， “Ken， you haven’t met my children.”
Then Bill introduced his children to their uncle. I left the hospice unit thinking， there’s something wrong when we can’t forgive. Life is short and it’s difficult to make up for all the time that has been lost.
This experience caused me to ponder the power of forgiveness and the need for it in our lives. Sure， when someone says something or does something to cause us harm， it hurts. But we need to move beyond the hurt， to healing， which comes from forgiveness.
I like to think of forgiveness as the bold choice we make to clear out of our lives resentment， bitterness， anger， hatred， and revenge. We need to ask ourselves， “Do I want to waste precious time and energy carrying around these nasty feelings？”
Holding on to the past only weakens the relationship we have with a spouse， parent， child， brother or sister， or friend， and keeps us from mending it and putting it back together.
Often forgiveness is not for the other person； it’s for us—to let it go and begin again.
Charlie， a friend of mine， came to see me about a problem he was having. He was angry with his father for dying. He said， “He died just when I was getting to know him as a buddy， a friend. We’d fish， hunt， and golf together. Now it’s all gone.”
I told him， “You have unfinished business with your father. Go and tell him.”
“He’s dead， ” Charlie said， “How can I？”