I worked hard in college. I studied constantly because I wanted to get a good job when I graduated. I didn’ t want our lives to suffer because I couldn’ t provide for us. After college I got a well-paying job with an insurance company. After saving for two years I put a down payment on a house. A nice two-bedroom house. It had a large kitchen and a great bedroom for the two of us. I just knew you would love it. When I moved into the house， I tried not to buy too much furniture. I didn’ t want to pick anything you wouldn’ t like later. Just the basics .
Sometimes I would sit on the threshold of the front door. I would stare down the street and watch every car that passed by. One day you might be in one of those cars. I wanted that to happen so much.
The bed was too big for just one person. I couldn’ t make myself stretch out or sleep in the middle. I stayed on my side and pretended that you were with me. Some nights I could almost hear you breathing. I would roll on my side and want to say your name， but I didn’ t know what it was. I would just call you “Love”.
“Love？” You would smile at me.
“Are you happy with me？ Are you glad you waited for me？”
You wouldn’ t answer. You’ d just reach over and touch my lips and feel my face. I could feel your hands on my face. You could feel my tears.
“I love you so much.”
The years went by. I tried to imagine what you were doing. I knew you were out there. I knew the person who’ s meant for me must be out there somewhere. It would just be a matter of waiting. I knew I could wait forever for you if I had to. I loved you.
When my mom died I was left to handle all the arrangements myself. It had just been her and I， and we’ d grown apart over the last twenty some-odd years. One Christmas she asked me when I was going to bring home a girl. I couldn’ t say anything to answer that. I couldn’ t even look her in the eyes the rest of the night. I wanted badly for you to meet her. She would be so proud of me. So proud that her son had such a wonderful woman. It would be perfect.