I was meeting John’s mother for the first time this afternoon and he was fervently coaching me on how to make a good impression. “While she’s talking， offer to cut her a piece of fruit from the basket. Cut the fruit in front of her so she can see how well you cut. Get an apple and make sure you peel the skin really thin so that she knows you don’t waste food. And make sure you cut it in even slices and lay it down facing the same direction so she knows you can present food in an appetizing manner...” John continued to lecture as I stared blankly out the window.
I had just started dating John， a Korean international student who had been in the States for about 3 years now. I was born in Korea， but I moved to the United States when I was 5 years old. I know how to speak， read， and write Korean and I thought I had learned enough from my family and watched enough TV programmes to know about Korean customs. I guess I was wrong.You see， John and I had our differences. He didn’t speak perfect English， but I figured it was okay because I didn’t speak perfect Korean either.
But little problems between our differing cultures surfaced as we continued to date. When we went out to eat， I noticed he’d have trouble reading the menus. When he registered for a class， he scheduled it with my free time so that he had someone to talk for him， like a translator. I accepted the fact that he couldn’t speak perfect English， but what was really frustrating was that he wasn’t willing to try. It may have been his male pride， but I think he was more embarrassed about the puzzled looks people would give him when he talked.
There would be times when he wouldn’t talk single word for hours. It was hard for him to blend in with my Asian-American friends. Once， I and my friends were reminiscing about the 80’s， things like Michael Jackson， Madonna， teased hair and those awful UMEN cardigans. But while we were laughing away， talking about old times， John just sat there uncomfortably with half a grin on his face. I tried to include him in on our conversations by explaining what we were talking about， but by the look on his face I could tell I wasn’t very successful.