"Come on!" I said through clenched teeth as I pulled her along toward the path that would lead us away from the beach. She hopped alongside of me, seething and jibbering. I realized she was trying to tell me something. Her unintelligible words alternated with jagged sobs as she shifted her weight from one foot to another. Her feet!Now that we were out of the surf, the sand was scalding hot. I had been clutching her thongs all along."I' m so sorry, sweetie. Put these on." I slipped her thongs on her trembling feet.
That was weeks ago. Now it was September, and I was back on the beach, alone. As I walked the beach, tears welled up in my eyes. I could see the image of my daughter earlier that morning, heading into her freshly painted kindergarten classroom for her first day of school. Her new day pack was slung proudly over her shoulder. The design of yellow and purple puppies and kittens verified her tender years.
I' d driven straight to the beach after dropping her off. There was something so reassuring in the never-ending cresting and breaking of the waves. I hoped the pounding surf would soothe my anxious thoughts.
I had dreamed of this day for years—five to be exact. I dreamed of this day when she was only a year old and she spent her days lurching through the house unsteadily, learning to walk. I was so concerned that she might maim herself. I followed her around, hovering with arms outstretched like a giant bear.
When she was two, I needed a break from full-time mommyhood badly. I had left her with my parents. Since the job required me on frequent business tours, whenever I heard her tiny little voice over the long-distance phone lines, my voice cracked so badly that I could hardly answer her back.
And this past summer, our days on end of being constantly together caused her to demand my unfailing attention. As the summer' s heat grew more oppressive, I got listless but she became more spirited. Every day I heard, "Mom, let' s go to the park, let' s go to the beach, let' s go to the Wild Animal Park, let' s go, let' s go, let' s go!"