Since the day he became a part of me， I have tried to prepare us both for this separation. Right or wrong， almost everything I' ve ever done has been wrapped up in readying him to be without me， and now I' m scared to death. Now I can only trust his future to the past， but that look had to be a good sign. I' ve told him that I love him every day， two， three or 12 times a day， for 14 years now. He usually says it back. It' s become a habit. May it last. May it protect him when I can' t.
I' ll risk having my son roll his eyes at me， and I' ll tell him again and again： Talk to me， I' m here for you. Trust me， I' ll help you. I' ll always listen. You can tell me anything.
And a thousand times a day I' ll say "I love you". Sometimes he' ll say it back. But even when he doesn' t， I' ll hear it anyway.
我的儿子在慢慢长大，我感到害怕，更确切地说是恐惧。美色、驾车、酒精和毒品，我该如何使他免受这些事物的影响？
在他小的时候，我就是那种凡事都要过问的母亲。就算是一些看起来无关紧要的经验，只要我认为它会影响孩子的成长，即便我又苦又累时，我也会向孩子阐述明白。“我这样做是为将来打算。”我会这样告诉自己和那些不理解我的人。如今，我非常希望我的感觉是正确的。
我对他的影响作用日趋减少，因为他更多的是和他的同龄人在一起，更容易受他们的影响。我担心我的作用会被那些着装前卫的男孩女孩所取代。可我还是坚持把基本的道理告诉他，即便他当时不愿意听，并且，对于一些棘手的问题，我总是正面提出来。我坚定我的理念。在他性格定型时期，我要求他全心全意听我的，或许这种不屈不挠的一贯立场会帮助我们俩。
不管怎么说，我知道还没有彻底失去他。因为那天，我送他去学校，当他下车时，他看我的眼神告诉了我这一切。