During college I noticed that there were fewer and fewer people still by themselves. Everyone was pairing up. Some of the girls in my class were wearing engagement rings. They were proud of their rings and would show them to everyone around them. One day I went to a jewelry store at the mall and looked at rings. I picked out a nice one for you. It was gold， with a small diamond in a silver setting. I didn' t know what your ring size was， so I bought one that fit my smallest finger. I figured we could get it fixed later. I carried that ring with me all the time. I wanted to be able to give it to you as soon as we were together.
After that day I thought about your hands a lot. I pictured myself holding them and looking at the tiny wrinkles in the palms. I tried to imagine how small your hands might be. How fragile they might be. In my dreams you would touch my face with your tiny fingers. The fingertips would touch my lips and I would kiss them.
I worked hard in college. I studied constantly because I wanted to get a good job when I graduated. I didn' t want our lives to suffer because I couldn' t provide for us. After college I got a well-paying job with an insurance company. After saving for two years I put a down payment on a house. A nice two-bedroom house. It had a large kitchen and a great bedroom for the two of us. I just knew you would love it. When I moved into the house， I tried not to buy too much furniture. I didn' t want to pick anything you wouldn' t like later. Just the basics .
Sometimes I would sit on the threshold of the front door. I would stare down the street and watch every car that passed by. One day you might be in one of those cars. I wanted that to happen so much.
The bed was too big for just one person. I couldn' t make myself stretch out or sleep in the middle. I stayed on my side and pretended that you were with me. Some nights I could almost hear you breathing. I would roll on my side and want to say your name， but I didn' t know what it was. I would just call you "Love."