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第32章 温暖成长的旅途 (6)

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At that second I couldn' t control myself anymore. The salty tears glided down my face. I didn' t talk. I just went crazy and I started screaming, but I didn' t say a word. I became crazy. I couldn' t breath, because he was the air I was breathing, he was the happiness that was keeping me alive, he was the friend that I respected more than a brother, more than anybody else. And now he' s not there anymore, he' s gone. It' s just the letter and me.

Two weeks had passed after his death, and I was still depressed, angry, sick, and almost lifeless. I couldn' t understand what was going on around me. Everything was an illusion. I wasn' t eating, drinking, nor doing anything. For twenty-four hours I was lying on my bed, thinking about what am I going to do. I couldn' t talk to anyone, because l didn' t want to. I wanted to be alone all day, remember the good times we had.

And I finally decided to open the letter he gave me. In the letter he said,"Don' t be silly and don' t cry. I know how you feel, but you know what, your life is not over yet. You have to understand that life is tough, and you just have to get used to it, fight it, and get whatever you want. I know that life is beautiful, and I only had a short time to experience it. You got to get yourself ready to continue your life, because only then I can look down at you with pride. You have to understand the fact that you' re the person who makes everyone smile, you share their problems, understand, and love. You have to be yourself. I will miss you, and I know you won' t forget me... I guess this is goodbye, but I don' t want to say that, I' ll just say I' ll see you later."

After reading the letter, my heart filled with lightness. The idea of continuing my life, as he had said, gave me the power to start everything from the beginning. I learned many lessons from this event. For instance, that true friends can never be replaced by anyone else, and they' re never forgotten. I understood that the friendship is a gift, and nothing in the world can come between real friendship. Yes, I had a lot of emotional disturbances within myself, but at the end, I actually understood that everything happens for a reason. I have accepted the fact that my friend is not with me anymore, but I' m sure that he will always live inside of me. As long as he' s in my memories, he' s part of me, and I take his presence as a source of pride.