Luckily， there is a way to be happy. It involves changing the emphasis of our thinking from what we want to what we have. Rather than wishing your spouse was different， try thinking about her wonderful qualities. Instead of complaining about your salary， be grateful that you have a job. Rather than wishing you were able to take a vacation to Hawaii， think of how much fun you have had close to home. The list of possibilities is endless！ Each time you notice yourself falling into the "I wish life were different" trap， back off and start over. Take a breath and remember all that you have to be grateful. When you focus not on what you want， but on what you have， you end up getting more of what you want anyway. If you focus on the good qualities of your spouse， she' ll be more loving. If you are grateful for your job rather than complaining about it， you' ll do a better job， be more productive， and probably end up getting a raise anyway. If you focus on ways to enjoy yourself around home rather than waiting to enjoy yourself in Hawaii， you' ll end up having more fun. If you ever do get to Hawaii， you' ll be in the habit of enjoying yourself. And， if by some chance you don' t， you' ll have a great life anyway.
Make a note to yourself to start thinking more about what you have than what you want. If you do， your life will start appearing much better than before. For perhaps the first time in your life， you' ll know what it means to feel satisfied.
专注于我们想得到的，而不是我们所拥有的，这是我见过的一种最具普遍性和破坏性的心理趋向。我们拥有多少，似乎并无太大区别，我们欲望的清单不断扩充，因而我们永远得不到满足。“当我实现了这个愿望，就会快乐”。一旦这个欲望得到满足，以后还会出现相同的欲求心理。
我们想要这个或那个。如果得不到，就会不断地去想那些没有的东西，总是感到不满足。如果得到了，在新的条件下，我们又会产生同样的心理。所以，尽管我们得到了，可还是不开心。如果我们一味地渴求新的欲望，将无法找到幸福。