One of the hardest things about forgiveness is making that first move especially when you haven’t spoken to the person who hurt you for a while. But remember they’ll probably be happy to hear from you. They might even be impressed that you’ve done what they’ve wanted to do for years. But keep in mind you’re doing this for you just as much as them， so don’t be upset if they don’t react as you hoped.
Of course， some people don’t believe they’ve done anything wrong， or don’t care， so telling them you forgive them would only frustrate them and you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find forgiveness in your heart. In fact， that’s what true forgiveness is letting go of your anger and hurt， becoming at peace with what happened and moving on.
The more you nurture your resentment， the more unhappy you’ll become. Unless you learn to develop the “lost art” of forgiving， you’ll always remain a victim， not just of people who’ve done you wrong， but also of your own emotions.
Forgiving puts you in control. However tough it is， the alternative is far worse. The phrase “Forgive us our sins， though we refuse to forgive those who sin against us” doesn’t exist in the . And there’s a reason for that.
宽恕不仅在婚姻中需要，在与子女、朋友、同事、邻居，甚至陌生人的相处中也同样需要。事实上，缺少宽恕，人际关系就无法持续。宽恕他人不是可有可无的善举，而是维系良性人际关系、促进身心健康的必要因素。
有些人认为，自己屡屡受创，很难宽恕伤害自己的人。然而，正是这些受伤至深的人，更急需宽恕。这看起来似乎有些矛盾，其实很简单，就像癌症能夺去人的生命一样，仇恨也会给人以致命的打击。如果不尽快根除，它就会滋生蔓延，最终使那些执迷于仇恨的人命丧黄泉。
如果满怀仇恨，心中的伤口就会逐渐溃烂，无法愈合。中国有句谚语说得好，“复仇者必自绝”。