The consequences of an unguarded communication moment are enormous. Professionals who have attained high-level positions in their organizations rarely abdicate responsibility. When they do, they incur severe consequences for their actions. When we keep the larger picture and the more costly consequences in mind, it becomes easier to see that we can never let our guards down when it comes to communicating professionally. We must constantly be aware of how each word we choose reflects our beliefs about ourselves and our responsibility in the matters at hand.
Ensuring that we are accepting responsibility with our words as well as with our actions will help us protect our professional credibility. And there’s another advantage: we’ll be modeling the behavior we want from others, encouraging them to accept responsibility for themselves.
令人厌烦的说话习惯有损你的专业可信度。我们以介词结尾的句子为例(你把你的外套挂在哪里?),还有交谈中连续出现的口语“嗯”“啊”“噢”和其他的一些口头语。在这里,我们重点说一说另一种说话习惯,这种习惯在说话时会将“放弃职责也无所谓”的信息传递给对方。
仅仅是说话的习惯,又是怎样反映我们的专业性,使我们疏于职守呢?让我来举例说明。在公司举行的全国研讨会上,我经常会问我的客户:当你发现自己身处紧张的局面中时,你身体方面的反应是什么样的?通常,这个问题的答案都是以下几种:
“你感觉嗓子发紧。”
“你的手掌冒汗。”
“你的心跳加速。”
现在,请注意观察一下这些回答,看看他们是如何组织语言回答这个问题的。在问题中,我问的是“你自己的亲身经历”,但是人们在回答问题时却用“你”代替了“我”(因此,放弃了他们的感觉责任),将回答从自己身上转移开了。这种转移主要是一种责任的转移,因为这表明了他们拒绝接受自己正在经历的东西。在这种情况下,回答者从本质上暗示了他们是在说我在这种境况中的反应,而不是在说他们。