The Essence of Happiness
佚名 / Anonymous
I live in the land of Disney， Hollywood and year round sun. You may think people in such a glamorous， fun filled place are happier than others. If so， you have some mistakes about the nature of happiness.
Many intelligent people still equate happiness with fun. The truth is that fun and happiness have little or nothing in common. Fun is what we experience during an act. Happiness is what we experience after an act. It is deeper， more abiding emotion.
The way people cling to the belief that a fun filled， pain free life equals happiness actually diminishes their chances of ever attaining real happiness. If fun and pleasure are equated with happiness， then pain must be equated with unhappiness. But in fact， the opposite is true： More times than not， things that lead to happiness involve some pain.
As a result， many people avoid the very endeavors that are the source of tree happiness. They fear the pain inevitably brought by such things as marriage， raising children， professional achievement， religious commitment， civic or charitable work， and self-improvement.
Ask a bachelor why he resists marriage even though he finds dating to be less and less satisfying. If he’s honest， he will tell you that he is afraid of making a commitment. For commitment is in fact quite painful. The single life is filled with fun， adventure， excitement. Marriage has such movement， but they are not its most distinguishing features.
Similarly， couples who choose not to have children are deciding in favor of painless fun over painful happiness. They can dine out whenever they want， travel wherever they want and sleep as late as they want. Couples with infant children are lucky to get a whole night’s sleep or a three-day vacation. I don’t know any parents would choose the word fun to describe raising children.
But couples who decide not to have children never experience the pleasure of hugging them or tucking them into bed at night. They never know the joy of watching a child grow up or of playing with a grandchild.