佚名/Anonymous
It's the classic story with a twist, a traveling salesman gets a flat tire on a dark, lonely road and then discovers he has no jack. He sees a light in a farmhouse. As he walks toward it, his mind churns:"Suppose no one comes to the door." "Suppose they don't have a jack." "Suppose the guy won't lend me his jack even if he has one." The harder his mind works, the more agitated he becomes, and when the door opens, he punches the farmer and said yells, "Keep your lousy jack!"
That story brings a smile, because it pokes fun at a common type of self-defeatist thinking. How often have you heard yourself say:"Nothing ever goes the way I planned." "I'll never make that deadline." "I always screw up."
Such inner speech shapes your life more than any other single force. Like it or not, you travel through life with your thoughts spell gloom and doom, that's where you're headed, because put-down words sabotage confidence instead of offering support and encouragement.
Simply put, to feel better, you need to think better. Here's how:
1. Tune into your thoughts. The first thing Sue said to her new therapist was, "I know you can't help me, Doctor. I'm a total mess. I keep lousing up at work, and I'm sure I'm going to be canned. Just yesterday my boss told me I was being transferred. He called it promotion. But if I was doing a good job, why transfer me?"
Then, gradually, Sue's story moved past the put-downs. She had received her M.B.A. two years before and was making an excellent salary. That didn't sound like failure.
At the end of their first meeting, Sue's therapist told her to jot down her thoughts, particularly at night if she was having trouble falling asleep. At her next appointment, Sue's list included:"I'm not really smart. I got ahead by a bunch of flukes." "Tomorrow will be a disaster." "I've never chaired a meeting before." "My boss looked furious this morning. What did I do?"