佚名/Anonymous
Have you ever walked away from a situation and wished you handled it differently? At times, do you feel that others overlook your rights? Can you recall losing your temper and not getting your point across effectively? If you have answered “yes”to any of these questions, you may feel challenged in the area of assertiveness. Assertiveness is the ability to clearly represent your thoughts and feelings in a mutually respectful way. It does not infringe on the rights of others or rely on guilt for results. Assertiveness starts with the premise that each human being is given rights that do not depend on status or performance. You have the right to express your perspective. You have the right to assume personal responsibility and to decline responsibility for others. How you govern yourself in relation to these rights is important for “valued”communication.
Communication is valued when both parties, the sender and the receiver, are respected. There are three primary styles of communication: passive, assertive, and aggressive. The difference between passive, assertive, and aggressive communication rests with the exchange between parties and quality of the message. Passiveness diminishes your capacity to be heard and validated. Aggressiveness exerts differential power to promote a certain end result that is not based on mutual respect. Only assertiveness respectfully engages both parties for valued communication.
In order to achieve assertive communication, one needs a level of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-awareness. Self-confidence is projected, not performed. It has to radiate from within and does not rely on others. Self-worth comes from believing that you are a worthwhile individual who deserves the best that life has to offer. Self-awareness develops from personal monitoring. One learns of strengths and weaknesses by making internal assessments. Self-assertion is a natural process for individuals who are confident and aware. In essence, you must have confidence within before you can demonstrate it in the midst of others.