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最出色的罪行 I Stole Your Dog Today

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吉姆·维利斯/Jim Willis

I stole your dog today. No, I didnt set a foot on your property, but from the condition of your dog, I can imagine what it looks like……the word“junkyard”comes to mind.

I found her along a road, with a heavy chain wrapped around her neck, still attached to rotten boards from her doghouse, with rusty six-penny nails protruding. Not only did I know that most of the town had already ignored her, judging by where I found her, but I knew that if she had gotten into the woods the“cross”that she dragged behind her would have wrapped around a tree until starvation or thirst killed her. The local populace is usually deaf to the sound or blind to the sight of an animal in need, unless they decide to shoot one for trespassing.

That her ribs showed, that her ears were filthy, that her overall condition was poor and that her coat and eyes were dull, were good indications that you didn‘t deserve her. But just to make sure, Ichecked with the local authorities for a report of a missing dog matching her description and to see if you’d placed a“lost dog”advertisement in the local newspaper. You hadn‘t, which I can only surmise means that you do not miss her. That’s rather convenient, because the fact that she is not spayed, probably unvaccinated, and possibly heartworm positive, means that restoring her health could cost me around a thousand dollars.

Perhaps it may be some small comfort to know that she doesn‘t miss you. In fact, her very act of escape made it clear that she’d had enough of your brand of pet guardianship. It took her about a day to realize that I‘m not you, that I won’t hurt her, that despite our brief acquaintanceship. I love her. It took two days for her to realize that the other animals who live here accept her and that one of the joys she has been missing has been the companionship of other dogs. It took three days for her to appreciate the ecstasy of a homecooked meal and that a couch is meant to be reclined on, and that she no longer has to sleep outside-in fact, when the thunder starts, she‘ll get a hug and her ears rubbed, and I’ll make a fool of myself with baby talk.