佚名/Anonymous
Marrying off your daughter to a stranger can be the most exhilarating and exasperating experience. My story is a simple one and true to the times of this era. The wedding consisted of three sets of parents:my second wife and me, my ex-wife and her spouse, and the groom's parents who actually had the stamina to stay married to each other for twenty-four years. When people ask me how long I've been married to my wife, I always say twenty-three years, even though it has only been ten. Why?It's easier for me to add both of my marriages together to achieve my ideal number;a number I'll remember. I was married for thirteen years to my first wife and ten to my second, therefore, I've been wearing the ball and chain for quite some time.
I first met Randy, my son-in-law to be, at the tuxedo rental shop. I was picking up my tux and shoes for the wedding, still unable to figure out why my wife spent over eight hundred dollars on her dress when I'd be forced to wear a tux and shoes that numerous bodies had been inside, when three young men came in and spoke to the clerk behind the counter. They stated they were there to pick up their“monkey suits”for the Webster wedding. I looked at all three of them and decided, which one I wanted to be my son-in-law. To my dismay, my choice didn't correspond with my daughter's. My son-in-law was the tall, lanky one with spiked hair and a small goatee. His appearance made me wonder what my grandchildren would look like. He also looked very hungover from his bachelor party the night before. I introduced myself, and he nervously grabbed his tux. The encourage disappeared to the back dressing room. I assumed the cowards would stay there until I'd left, I assumed correctly.
My next stop was the wedding hall, where I was expected to pay an enormous sum of money to feed and intoxicate many people. The ever-pleasing office manager, Noelle, asked me if I'd like to see the wedding room. Once inside, I looked around and informed Noelle that there was something wrong right away. She inquired what that might be. I told her I didn't see a broom closet, as there would be many witches attending the wedding, meaning my ex and all my ex-in-laws. Noelle didn't laugh at my humor, but I chuckled to myself. If nothing else. I do amuse myself.