Getting engaged is one of the most romantic and happy times of your life. Whether you have been courting for a few years or just a few weeks, you are jointly making both a public and personal commitment to get married and to spend the rest of your lives together.
If you wish to be sensitive and courteous to your families’ feelings, a little etiquette may well prevent any hurt feelings, particularly if one or both your parents may end up footing the bill for your wedding day! If you think that your decision to get engaged might come as a shock to your parents, you should discuss your intentions with them at an opportune moment before making any public announcements. They will then have an opportunity to express their concerns and to discuss with you both the implications of your decision. You will also have a chance to reassure them that your relationship is ready for this momentous step in your lives.
If the engagement will not be a shock to the parents, it is customary for the man to ask the lady’s father for her hand in marriage. Although it is traditional for the man to seek permission from his future father-in-law before proposing, most men today propose first and then, as a mark of respect, ask for permission.
To many modern people, seeking permission may seem old fashioned and inappropriate today. But it is still seen as a respectful and polite gesture. If the man lives some distance away he should telephone or write to his future father-in-law.
Most parents care tremendously for their children’s welfare, whatever their ages, and they would welcome discussing such an important decision with you. They will then be assured that their daughter will be well-cared for and your decision will be seen as being made responsibly. Getting your parents on-board at this time should make the rest of the wedding day planning much simpler and less stressful.
■The Marriage Proposal
The traditional way of making a marriage proposal was for the man to make his appeal to his bride-to-be on bended knee. Today though, men usually opt for something a little less spectacular and in many cases it is simply agreed by mutual consent. However, your proposal will remain a memorable and special event forever and it is worth taking the time to think of a way that is either unique and/or romantic. It could be that you are proposed to over a romantic candle lit dinner for two or the question just popped out in the check-out queue at the supermarket! It’s up to you to decide but it is worth considering what your partner would appreciate and what will provide you both with a happy memory in the future. Having said all this, you still can’t beat a bit of good old-fashioned tradition by getting down on one knee!