But I noticed it. That feeling of emptiness, into which I was pouring cocktails out of boredom, was filling up instead with a purpose: to live a full life with an awareness and an appreciation of other people. I do not pretend for a second that I have suddenly become a paragon. My faults are still legion and I know them.
But it seems to me better to have a little religion and practice it than think piously and do nothing about it. I feel better adjusted, more mature than I ever have in my life before. I have no fear. I say this not boastfully but in all humility. The actual application of Christian principles has changed my life.
大约15年前的一天,我在面对自己时,突然觉得自己的生活很空虚。也许这是朋友和同事所无法理解的。按照公认的标准来看,我是一位“成功者”。 我领导着一个生意不错的制造公司,是社交界及商界中的“活跃分子”。然而,对我而言,这些并没有太大的意义。我始终都在圈内转来转去。我努力工作,尽情享乐,但很快就发现自己饮酒过度。虽然我并不准备加入嗜酒者互诫协会,但说真的,我不得不承认自己喝了太多的酒。也许,这是因为我的生活实在太无聊了。
于是,我开始想着去做点什么。突然,我想到或许是由于自己将过多的精力投入工作,却付出了失去最基本精神生活价值的代价。我顿时明白,自己一向都很自私,我只对别人对我意味着什么,作为我的生意伙伴或员工会为我带来什么价值感兴趣,而不在意我对他们而言意义何在。记得孩提时,母亲常告诉我,一位虔诚信徒的人生价值在于他拥有精神的寄托。当时,她还送我去主日学校学习,并鼓励我参加教堂唱诗班。我努力在脑海中回想着《圣经》中的金箴和基督教义中一些最重要的信条。于是,我开始对基督教青年会的工作感兴趣了。