Getting over the Job-loss Blues
？谢里尔·理查森 / Cheryl Richardson
Pick up almost any newspaper today， and you’re bound to see a story about layoffs. If you’re one of the unlucky ones (or if your family member is)， you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed， disoriented， or just plain scared.
Losing a job is considered one of the five most stressful life changes you can experience. Those who have been there say it feels like being robbed of your identity and is as painful as the loss of a loved one. The anxiety that results can shake up your life. It’s normal to feel panicky about finances， nervous about the job search process， or lonely for your old community of coworkers. And many downsized employees are left wondering what they could have done to prevent being let go (even when it clearly wasn’t their fault). Whether you were expecting the cut or were shocked by the news， these emotions can leave you feeling paralyzed and unsure of what to do next.
During this time your family members may be dealing with their own fears and sense of loss， adding to the pressure at home. For example， your spouse may insist on keeping close tabs on your job search process. Or your children， feeling the tension， may start behaving badly at school.
The first stage of loss is denial and numbness. In this stage you may shut down and feel unmotivated. Denial is one of the mind’s ways of protecting you， but getting stuck in this stage can present additional problems. One woman I know received notice that her job would be eliminated in six months. But she never bothered to prepare a resume or begin networking until the week before she was to leave. Stuck in denial， she believed that something miraculous would happen to prevent the inevitable.
The next stage brings mixed emotion anger， confusion， sadness， and fear. During this phase you may vacillate between extremes. When my friend Samantha lost her job unexpectedly， she went from screaming in traffic one minute to shaking and sobbing the next. Your feelings of anger or sadness may last minutes， days， or weeks. The more you express them in healthy ways—working out your anger at the gym， for instance， or sharing your feelings with a trusted friend—the quicker they will pass.