You also know it's love when you can't stop talking to each other. Almost every couple I've ever interviewed said that on their first or second date， they talked for hours and hours. For some， falling in love is like walking into a soundproof confessional booth， a place where you can tell all.
Finding love can be like discovering a gilded ballroom on the other side of your dingy apartment， and at the same time like finding a pair of great old blue jeans that are exactly your size and seem as if you've worn them forever. I can't tell you how many women have told me they knew they were in love because they forgot to wear makeup around their boyfriend. Or because they fell at ease hanging around him in flannel pajamas. There's some modern truth to Cinderella's tale—it's love when you've incredibly comfortable， then the shoe fits perfectly.
Finally， I think you've in love if you can make each other laugh at the very worst times—when the IRS is auditing you or when you're driving a convertible in a rainstorm or when your hair is turning gray. As someone once told me， 90 percent of being in love is making each other's lives funnier and easier， all the way to the deathbed.
Seven years ago I started writing about love and weddings for the New York Times in a column called "Vows". And now that I have been on this bea for so long， a strange thing has happened：I'm considered an expert on love. The truth is， love is still mostly a mystery to me. The only thing I can confidently say is this： Love is as plentiful as oxygen. You don't have to be thin， naturally blond， super-successful， socially connected， knowledgeable about politics or even particularly charming to find it.
I've interviewed many people who were down on their luck in every way—a ballerina with chronic back problems， a physicist who had been 112 (he counted) disastrous blind dates， a clarinet player who was a single dad and could barely pay the rent. But love， when they found it， brought humor， candlelight， home-cooked meals， fun， adventure， poetry and long conversations into their lives.